My Accessible Life

The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

2012-02-14T19:32:00.000-08:00

After working with the wisdom from Proverbs for a few days, a scripture from Matthew became really clear to me today. Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. Matthew 26 verse 41. Here's what I understand; focus on God and pray believing that all things are possible to God. Basically I've prayed hoping in God not believing and knowing how awesome God really is. So God is always willing to open the windows of heaven, and pour out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. However if the flesh, which is me, was paying obeisance to doubt and fear, then I cannot blame anyone for me entering into temptation, instead having faith the size of a mustard seed. WOW, this is a powerful realization.

lOOking for work

2012-01-28T08:51:00.000-08:00

I'm up early praying meditating feeling tired
looking out of my windows it feels like I'm lurking
I'm getting gas and buying coffee and now I'm wired
filled out so many applications still I'm not working
should I go door to door or would it go faster on the internet?
I was surplussed by my company, why does everyone think I was fired?
scams, MLM, work from home, business opportunities oh the people I have met
all I really want to hear is Mister you've been hired
times have changed the want ads no one needs a soda jerk
the boards have taken over career, monster, the ladders, indeed
can anyone be certain that people are really finding work?
is there something I can create to fulfill a missing need?
I've worked so many places and always taken any kind of job
won't we do anything in this world not feel like a bum?
this is true looking back I know I'm not a slob
I just have to find new creative ways to bring in income.

T.V. or not t.v.

2012-01-14T10:12:00.000-08:00

No mas" Chico and the man", looking good!
Mr. Rogers has left the universal neighborhood

The small screen shows behavior which is crude
like watching a nightmare, I screamed and booed.

Nothing but kids and parents with bad attitudes
bad business practices not really shrewd;

Maybe the letters are being controlled by juveniles
replacing "Sesame Street" time slot with the "X files".

The days of "Father knows best" are over,
shows with titles like "Lassie", "Rin tin tin" or dogs named Rover.

Who cares if "Cops" are respected and clean?
It's all being run by some political machine.

Reality or drama none of it is supposed to be funny
when you get down to "The Wire" it's always been about the money.

I have to apologize

2011-12-27T15:51:00.000-08:00

I think I was prejudiced against other people with disabilities because I found myself thinking if they weren't using a wheelchair then they weren't really disabled. At church I was having a conversation with a woman who walks yet parks in the handicapped parking spots. I asked her what her disability was and she told me that she had some kind of disease that whittles away at her bones and flesh, and it makes it hard for her to walk long distances even though she appears to be completely healthy.So over the past year I'd come to realize that more people in fact have some kind of disability even though it may sequestered. I never used to think of myself as prejudiced. I definitely don't want to continue being prejudiced against people with different disabilities. After 20 odd years though I still find myself saying, "I wonder if they're REALLY disabled?" But prejudice is prejudice whether it's about skin, sexual orientation, or disability status. Part of me thinks its my own passive aggressive retaliation, I still need to check myself about this and not pass blame on anyone else. I ran into this woman this year later and she flat out asked me, "Are you still prejudiced against people with different disabilities?" Then she reminded of our conversation from last year and it hit me like a ton of bricks, maybe I was prejudiced. How do I live on this planet and love everyone unconditionally, or is that even possible? Anyway, this conversation really freaked me out, does it sound like to you that I was prejudiced because I asked what was her disability? I thought it was curiosity but maybe deep down I am prejudiced; maybe I need an intervention lol...

Courageous was a great movie

2011-12-19T11:43:00.000-08:00

I saw "Courageous", a spiritual movie by Alex Kendrick, last night with my husband. It was a movie about fathers making a commitment to their wives, children and communities to be even better fathers than they had been. I really admired the message that fathers do have to be filled with courage to go the extra mile and not just be in their childrens lives but to really be apart of their lives that will set the success filled journeys their children would take with God as their heavenly father. Then I began to feel the doors of envy and WHY try to open up which always lead to negative feelings about the past and my own journey; remembering forgiveness allowed me to keep those doors closed for good and to be grateful for the new path that I was on where I can appreciate seeing positive things happen in other peoples lives and not be sad, because I didn't have that same experience. Many people may have grown up without the positive experience of a loving earthly father, however no one has to go without knowing their heavenly father. I could never tell anyone what is the right path of faith to choose, but I do know that God loves us all, we just have to decide to acknowledge and accept that love. Feeling that kind of love can never be taken away from you because it lets you know that even when you're alone you're never lonely or by yourself completely. Once you know and understand this kind of love it can help you overcome hurdles and obstacles and forgive any kind of atrocity. This kind of love can help you to heal, grow, and appreciate every circumstance you have ever encountered and keep you from looking back and becoming like Lot's wife in the Bible. So while many people may experience the uneasy effects of not growing up with a father, by seeking God in all his infinite mercy all of this can be undone; you can have healthy relationships with your spouse, with your family, children and community, and most of all with yourself. Every father should see the movie Courageous for it will either let you know that you are headed in the right direction or it will give you the courage to pick up the ball and try again, or keep trying until you succeed in being the best father that you can possibly be on Earth.

Is the Bible a psychological drama?

2011-12-13T11:28:00.000-08:00

For years I thought the bible was a historical compilation of factual stories about people who actually lived. Since I'm not a historian by profession or otherwise, I cannot say with absolute certainty that they are not real or historical. When I believed in the historicity of the characters and events I was filled with fear and terrified by the portrayal of God. As a church goer I wanted so desperately to believe in God so that I might show myself approved by God. After delving into several denominations of belief I've come to understand that I could not believe in God because I didn't believe in myself. I left my last religion for many reasons but mainly because I lived the tenets of the faith but my belief in God was no closer than it ever was to being real. In 2006 I began reading new thought authors and their explanation of the bible as a psychological drama, I find intriguing and baffling almost simultaneously. Neville Goddards' books, lectures and audios have changed my mind the most about the contents of the bible. Neville says that God is our awareness, man's consciousness and that Satan is merely doubt or negative thinking. Prayer has new meaning and especially forgiveness. I feel very hopeful about my thoughts about God and life because in my renewed interest for reading the bible I think there are some new successes on the horizon.

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I am working on forgiveness

2011-12-10T18:49:00.000-08:00

I've been working on forgiveness for a while and while I thought I was all done I recently had a conversation where I brought up some old feelings and negative thoughts about people situations and circumstances that I thought I had forgiven and forgotten about I used to hear people say I'll forgive them but I'll never forget, but they did. Today I had to take a new thought about forgiveness to see if I can master forgiveness. I was reading a lecture by Neville Goddard and he states that forgiveness is forgetting. He also says that just because you say that you forgive a person but you recall what was said or done, whenever you think of this person then that's not true forgiveness. It also makes me think of the scripture in Mark: 11 25, “And whenever you stand to pray, forgive whatever you have against anyone, so that your Father who is in Heaven may also forgive you your faults.” I feel like forgiveness should start with me so I forgive myself and I'm going to try this again! While I have plenty to be grateful for in 2011 like family and health, I am most grateful for forgiveness.

No flu shots here

2011-11-07T17:36:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time I followed the doctors advice and got the flu shot.

And you know what happened? Two months after the shot I got the flu.

Wait a minute, wasn't the shot supposed to prevent this from happening?

I don't why it happened but I've never taken the flu shot again. Everyone

has to decide for themselves after doing careful research. Now I take Vitamin

C, echinacea, ginger, cayenne, vinegar and honey and occasionally zinc and I've

not had flu like or cold symptoms to that extreme since 2005. I'm totally against

infants having flu shots and the 110 year old author, Bernando Lapollo, has never

taken the flu shot which tells me that seniors do not have to run out every winter

and get flu shots either. So why is there this incessant need to push flu shots on infants,

seniors and those with physical challenges? Is it because some medical company feels

we cannot think for ourselves? Probably the same incentive as always, money; think before

getting the flu shot by educating yourself beyond just what the medical professionals are

telling you.

What are you saying to yourself?

2011-10-27T16:35:00.000-07:00

Don't you like me? Why are you doing this aren't you on my side? Why aren't you on my side?

This is not an argument I was having with another person. This was a discussion I was having

with myself. 5 years ago, my journey of self-discovery path began to widen as I moved from a

religious perspective to a spiritual one. I began to notice a common theme in all of the books that

I was reading. It was discussing self-talk and what am I saying to myself. So I began to pay

attention and realized that I was living with someone that didn't like me, it was ME! I never

really realized that I didn't love myself as much as I though I did. The more I worked on

loving myself the more the negative self-talk prevailed, and it was UGLY. But I continued on this

quest to love myself and change my inner conversations which was not easy. When I started paying attention to my thoughts and inner conversations or self-talk, I realized not only were they fear-based but they were predominantly negative which was a frightening realization. No wonder I was not reaching all of my goals or succeeding at the things that I said I wanted to succeed at in life. The first thing that I would do is have a great idea and my negative self-talk would proceed to tell me every reason why I could not or would not to reach this goal. The idea that I wasn't even on my own side left me feeling very SAD, but grateful at the same time because now I had an idea of how to overcome my own problems. I no longer needed to blame my parents, or the foster homes, or even the abuse. I have come to the realization that I have the power to be in control of my own life through the power of my thoughts. For a quick moment I was a little frightened at the idea how much work I was going to have to do to rid myself of all these negative ideas I had about myself. The thoughts kept coming such as, how long

is this going to take, no one else has to do this and why are you so weird and different? Then I came to the realization and reminded myself that as a human being and an individual my experiences are completely different from every other individual on the planet, so I can't expect my path or journey to be the same as anyone else; I needed to remember that the only person that I needed to be concerned about was myself. I could no longer think, "When is someone going to come and fix me?", because then I realized that in spite of the experiences, the only one left available that could change my circumstances was ME. No one could change my inner thoughts or perceptions about myself. No amount of compliments can make you become the person you desire to be on the outside when you're still battling with a negative self-image on the inside. It's like putting a tiara on a pig, it's still a pig, not a beauty queen. I kept working on it and it wasn't easy however in July of this year not only are my fear-based thoughts gone, my inner conversations are positive, I love myself like I never have before and I am succeeding in my life on a consistent basis.

Ever heard, I have to rob Peter to pay Paul?

2011-10-26T09:51:00.000-07:00

In one of my lessons I was instructed to find the things in my child hood that led to

my current beliefs. I'm currently working on a Ph.d in Metaphysics. I had an AHA moment, I

used to hear you have to rob Peter to pay Paul. I grew up believing earning money was difficult.

Also once you had the money it wasn't going to be enough to pay both Paul and Peter. But wait

who are Peter and Paul? I didn't know them. on one occasion I had more bills than money so I

paid some and not the others. was this what people were talking about, take from one bill to pay

the others? Well that wasn't going to work so I learned to pay everything in full on time if

possible later I reduced all unnecessary bills and began to pay myself first by putting money in

savings, regardless of the amount, then bills and charity. Now if you find yourself struggling

with money issues take time to search your memory and find out where your beliefs about

money have come from. Personally, I had to stop believing money was evil. I love what I can do

with money and am looking forward to much financial success in my new position.

Hair in your food, what do you do?

2011-10-25T15:25:00.000-07:00

I had vegetable egg foo yung from a restaurant, one of my favorites. I get home and open the box. What do I see? A fried hair woven deep into the patty. Needless to say I threw the patty away and gave my other 2 patties away. I was thoroughly disgusted. That was 4 years ago. TWO years ago while we were eating at Denny's, my sons choice, he found a hair pulled it out and continued to eat. (by the way Denny's has the WORST vegetables, very dry) I was mortified and each time we pass the Denny's I cringe just a little. Fast forward to 2011, I'm eating my meal and I see a small hair. No cringing, no speeches my son removed it and I put aside that spoonful yet ate the rest. So am I growing or was I just hungry? Either way I like the fact that I didn't overreact about it so now I'm onto the next project.

Can I eat a raw food diet in the colder months?

2011-10-22T12:11:00.000-07:00

Eating raw foods was so great this summer but now it's getting cooler actually colder. The weekly vegetable subscription from All the above farm will be stopping November 1, so now what? How do I maintain my weight loss and eat raw foods when I really want a good vegan chili? Two times we've had vegetarian tamale pie and while it was delicious, I felt really heavy after eating. I am reading some articles and watching videos like this one http://vegetarian.about.com/od/bever...r-raw-food.htm
I will have to start using my dehydrator, buy some organic spices and investigate some more herbs or minerals like niacin. Boy New Mexico is looking more and more appealing all the time. Green drink is still my breakfast most mornings especially with Superfoods from Dr. Schultze coupled with more exercise I think I can lose more weight this winter instead of gaining.

Why does this keep happening to me?

2011-10-20T19:38:00.000-07:00

I used to ask myself that every time I had a bad date, my checking account was low or got a bad grade on an exam, had an argument with someone, my children didn't listen to me or had a fill in for a home health aide that I really liked. I ultimately ran friends away and sometimes when I called family I felt they weren't picking up because I was calling to ask these same questions of which they had no answer for year in and year out. Then I began reading tons of books but my thinking wasn't changing very quickly. A friend told me to try saying affirmations, you know positive statements about yourself well that left me in tears and angry. So I searched for better affirmations and affirmation programs and then I found AFFORMATIONS by Noah St. John. http://themythiclife.com/media/afformations.pdf Basically you switch the question to Why am I so rich? MY brain couldn't find a negative answer. When I said I am rich, I hear you're broke, your account is low Again. I used AFFORMATIONS until THE NEGATIVE answers stopped haunting me which was not overnight, oh not by a long shot. Today I use both afformations and affirmations both with positive results.

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Do you believe healing is possible?

2011-10-20T16:28:00.000-07:00

At one time I couldn't burp now I can as well as flatulate, sweat in the summer when it's hot, no bladder spasms or bowel accidents unless I overeat. Skin issues have been minimized (liver issues). The doctors said that I would need a C-section and I delivered my now 15 year old son naturally. I have regained the ability to move my feet at the ankles and can often relax muscle spasms at will. So what if the doctors were wrong and I actually can heal all the way to walking? Does is really hurt to think in terms of that possibility? I mean the doctors put us on drugs and the companies sell us equipment but never do I hear them say if you want to walk again it's up to you. The miracle man in the docu/drama or whatever, called "the secret" walked away from a spinal chord injury and he couldn't even breathe on his own or talk http://www.themiracleman.org/ I like to think its worth the energy to keep my thinking positive in order to facilitate that possible 'miracle' I suspect many believe in healing or no one would exercise, eat right or look for cures.

Drugs vs Vitamins/ alternative therapy

2011-10-08T09:52:00.000-07:00

I used to be a very obedient patient and took every drug prescribed by the physicians until one day my hair fell out. I could blame the doctors or even the prescriptions but I realized I never read nor asked a key question, what are the FREAKING side effects? Six years later my hair has grown back but I'm off of ALL prescription medication. One doctor told me I'd die if I quit taking my meds, REALLY? One doctor said I was diabetic was retested, someone made a mistake hmmm. Another doctor said I have asthma and gave me a prescription for albuterol I didn't fill it and I'm breathing fine today. I was on zoloft for depression and quit taking it and used E3 live instead, a blue green algae supplement now no longer needed daily. Anyone know why we're not offered uva ursi instead of ditropan, chamomile instead of valium or baclofen, valerian instead of ambien, acupuncture instead of pain pills? one word MONEY. RESEARCH on the internet or library is FREE. We cannot allow the pharmaceutical companies or doctors to use us as experiments. A lot of meds can be eliminated just by eating fruits and vegetables, juicing, exercising or taking vitamins and minerals. I'm not putting down using drugs if they work for people just know there is another option that isn't being given in the hospitals. There should be a choice don't you think?

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I stopped referring to myself as disabled

2011-10-07T14:18:00.000-07:00

When I think about the definition of disabled it doesn't fit me. When I think about spinal cord injury that doesn't feel accurate either because the injury is over and now I am healing. At times when I'm the passenger I do not park in the handicapped spot besides never using that word because no one has their cap in their hand begging so I wonder if not using all of these labels, negative or positive will allow me to just be me and feel awesome because I am here in the universe having an amazing experience? I just feel grateful.

Doctors should not be allowed to use the word NEVER

2011-10-05T15:26:00.000-07:00

I'm on DAY 9 of the day juice fast

2011-10-04T11:36:00.000-07:00

I feel full and I do not know why. The 10 th day is tomorrow but day 5 was the hardest because we lost a client so the mood around the house was less than ecstatic. Now on day 9 that has turned around. Tomorrow I have an interview and my son well the family just adopted a neighborhood senior to assist them over the winter with trash and snow removal. We've made numerous donations over the past month giving food, clothes and money to various organizations so now we are headed towards our Christmas giving list and cards to be mailed out.

it's DAY 4 already of my juice fast

2011-09-29T13:35:00.000-07:00

10 day juice fast begins

2011-09-25T16:16:00.000-07:00

Making Almond Milk

2011-09-24T15:36:00.000-07:00

IT's Lunch Time, well almost

2011-09-24T15:34:00.000-07:00

Juicing for my evening meal

2011-09-20T13:43:00.000-07:00

1st week of exercise on a new 14 week program

2011-09-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

I LOVE Saturdays

2011-09-17T16:33:00.000-07:00

Green road farmers market haul

2011-09-15T13:37:00.000-07:00

Egg Crates Are my best friends

2011-09-14T19:58:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my Acessible Life

2011-09-14T12:27:00.000-07:00